Letter to Proctor & Gamble: Spirit Removal

Sent to Proctor & Gamble

February 28, 2013

To whom it may concern:

As an avid user of Tide for many years, I feel the need to address a particularly alarming news item (see video above) where American media mogul, executive chairman, and a former Southern Baptist minister, Pat Robertson recently responded to a viewer question as follows (and I quote):

 “Can demonic spirits attach themselves to inanimate objects? The answer is yes. But I don’t think that every sweater you get from Goodwill has demons in it. But …but in a sense, uhh – your mother’s just being super-cautious… (unintelligible noises that are not actual words) It ain’t going to hurt you to …to rebuke any spirits that happened to have attached themselves to those clothes.”

The fact that Mr. Robertson states that not every sweater you get has demons, insinuates that some do. Of course, this deeply concerns me – especially this time of year as Spring approaches and I occasionally peruse the racks at Goodwill looking for a quality knitted sweater.

In the past, there have been times when I have gone to Goodwill, and have heard muttering in strange languages near some of the clothes racks. Later, I realized that it was usually Spanish because I am in the city. But be that as it may, as a rule, I also try to avoid looking directly at any sweaters that are flapping around the store on their own volition, or those that taunt you by randomly bursting into flames as you walk by.

Of course, the first thing I do with this clothing is run it through the washing machine using a liberal amount of Tide detergent. After hearing about these pesky demonic spirits, I took an opportunity to examine the back of my Tide container and I spent an inordinate amount of time navigating the Tide website, but for some reason, there was no mention of demonic spirits anywhere. Nor did an internet search turn up anything.

In the past, Tide products have been extremely effective at cleaning everything from the grass stains on our clothing to removing semen from our curtains, so I expect that the omission of “demonic spirits” from the Tide containers is simply an oversight by your marketing department.

I need to know if Tide products are effective at removing these demonic spirits from sweaters or if you think something like Woolite would be a better option. Also, is Tide Original Scent capable of removing demons such as Vetalas, Pishachas and Bhūta or is it more suited toward other demons such as Agares and Baal? In that case should I get Extra Strength Tide? Oh, and should I use a second rinse just to be sure?

Yours Truly,

Rick Theriault


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Thanks for contacting Tide, Rick.

Our Tide detergents have been thoroughly tested, and are designed to provide good overall cleaning over a wide range of laundry conditions. You can find a list of common stains and their removal tip from our experts here at Tide at our website: http://www.tide.com/en-US/stains/stains-a-to-z.jspx

In regards to your question, our detergents have not been tested for that intended use. Therefore we can make no recommendations to that end.

Thanks again for inquiring about Tide.

Josh

Tide Team


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